Posted in Empowerment

The Pain Is More Than Chronic

There are many warriors in my life that battle with the dragon, fibromyalgia. I know dozens with debilitating migraines or more severe brain conditions. There are people who cry over a sore back; then there are those who are stoically fighting to stay upright and active. Personally, I am petrified of MS, which has its onset in our 30s and 40s. 

There are too many ailments and syndromes to list, but they all have one side effect: Pain steals our loved one. 

I must confess. Fifteen years ago I was selfish, insensitive and cruel to someone in chronic pain. I never tried to understand why one day was better than another. I expected, no demanded, my needs to be met and attention focused on me. I believe that behavior nearly drove a man to his grave. 

I will admit, I am not overly nuturing to begin with. I’m that mom that doesn’t dole out bandages, I ask, “Would you like a cold papertowel?’ I will offer remedies, I will stay with you if you are sick, but I am hopeless at bedside manners.

I cannot say when my awareness to chronic pain began to change, but I am glad it is growing. I have written about time budgetting and the Spoon Theory analogy. I have learnrd to be more patient and what NOT to say…still learning. Some days I revert also. Hopefully the people in my life realize I do try. 

If someone you care about is struggling, this is a helpful resource. Not all of these will be possible, but hopefully some quality of life and joy can be found in the midst of the struggle.



I have been a Lorain county resident for five years now. Anywhere you go you can see quintessential American life in our backyard. From scarecrows to Organized Labor Day, from urban decay to rural homesteading, and my question has been, "Where is the joy?!" People need more reasons to smile. While I am committed to educating and empowering people, I promise this blog will always share the hope and joy I have.

3 thoughts on “The Pain Is More Than Chronic

  1. Lorain County in Ohio? I’m from Cuyahoga County, I go to school at Lorain County Community College. I’ll be starting their LPN-RN nursing program in January. Anyways, great article. As someone with chronic pain and other chronic health issues it’s understandable for you to revert sometimes. I have a long-term boyfriend and as patient and understanding as he is, I can tell sometimes he’s tired. Chronic pain doesn’t just affect the person who’s dealing with it, it affects their loved ones. I can tell from my family and from my boyfriend. They’re tired of me always having pain or another medical issues, and always tired of all my numerous doctors appointments. Always tired of me constantly inquiring as to what my pain is caused by. I’m very outspoken about my pain. I don’t try to hide it, but rather theorize as to what could be causing it since I’m a nurse. It practically consumes your life. When there’s a day that doesn’t start off in pain, you’re wondering when the pain is going to sneak up on you and surprise you. So as someone who’s in chronic pain, I can completely understand why my loved ones may get frustrated or tired with me. They do their best to hide it, but I get it. I’d be crazy not to. Just like I’m tired of being in pain, they’re tired of me being in pain. It only makes sense. After awhile people get fatigued of having to constantly take care of someone or worry about someone. So from this spoonie…I get it. And I think a lot of us do. Thanks for your post!


    1. I just found your feedback, sorry about that. Thank you for sharing. I feel sometimes its ineptness causing our loved ones to react. Because instant gratification is our ‘thing’ they expect everything to be okay with a Tylenol. Can I ask, when you get stuck in your head-space analyzing, do you have a way to catch yourself and pull out?


      1. Often I find myself googling online my symptoms over and over again even though I’ve read and reread the same websites countless times. I allow myself to do it just so I’m prepared for all my doctors appointments and know exactly what to ask, but when it gets to the point when it gets to the part where it starts consuming me and I start thinking well maybe it’s this or that and can’t stop talking about it with my loved ones I honestly don’t know what stops me. I usually just get an “Ah ha!” moment where I realize…there’s no point in creating all these theories that are only going to make me worry when I have no idea what’s wrong with me. I shouldn’t worry until I have to, it just makes me feel worse. So then I stop. It’s unfortunately a temporary stop, I honestly haven’t found a way to stop trying to figure out what’s wrong with me and until I find answers I’ not sure I ever will, but I just stop, take a minute and go….why cause unneeded, added stress? It’s pointless. Educating myself…yes definitely important, but when it stops being education and starts being obsession then it’s unhealthy.


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