While looking up information about sixth grade behavioral norms, I came across this gem. My youngest is overly self-conscious and highly anxious. She is exhibits several antisocial PD and narcissistic traits already. She began self harming as a toddler and thankfully is not currently cutting, suicidal or anorexic.
I have never fought a longer battle. I have not been so passionate about finding the right answers. Nor have I ever felt so alone. The mental health community boasted a banner year with celebrities acknowledging their struggles left and right. The stigma associated with bipolar and depression is waning. We are a long way off from changing the realities of living with and loving those who suffer from these illnesses.
We exist in a bubble swirling with fear, rejection and isolation. Similar to the autism awakening that occurred fifteen years ago, the conversations need to happen with our children.
Unlike the rampant prescriptions for ADHD, identifying tendencies, learning behavior therapies and early parenting skills could yield amazing results. Childhood PTSD or trauma therapy is a short term commitment with lifetime outcomes. Or learn about alternative punishments, like time-in for children who overreact to punishments due to fear of rejection. (That one is fun! Turn off every emotion and frustration you have as a parent and hold your unruly, and violent child).
What about limits, enforcing boundaries and adding responsibilty? I honestly can’t wait to answer this, since I do not have very many. I have been ‘choosing my battles’ for so long I think I retreated and never realized it. Although this past week I held my ground about a homework issue, talked in an even voice and didn’t ‘react’ when she tried to keep me from leaving the room. (Yay, me) And I did not rescind her grounding resulting from her tantrum.
What now? I have no clue. We go at the end of the month for a psych profile to see where all these borderline tendencies lead. All of the biggies run on both sides of the families, so which disorder most likely will be identified terrifies me. BUT my goal is to make sure she knows she is unconditionally loved and redeemed by the time she enters adulthood. I pray she becomes a functioning member of society and not another victim. However, with her manipulation skills, she could be president someday…
I was beyond relieved to hear her therapist say that not all her traits are negatives. So we will continue to put one foot in front of the other, seek support, and carry on.