By the shores of Lake Erie again. I spent a few days in Nashville enjoying the buzz of the city. Thank you to my friends that let me tag along. At the end of the trip I commented, “This trip was not worthy of a chapter.” I explained that my memoir will feature all the stories of my life, and all the funny, quirky, horrible misadventures that have befallen me. Its titled, THE MISADVENTURES OF LEANNA! I’m serious. I believe I am over three dozen chapters now.
Great advice, Mr. Godin, how do I get there?
Am I prone to wanderlust? The need for adventure and new scenery always calling out like Odysseus or Amelia Earhart. Do I crave chaos and change, and therefore, restlessness and discontentment? I choose to believe that the rising ache in my chest is more like a battle cry. I have been told since elementary age that I would do big things. Call me crazy, but I believe them.
So how does one create the fulfilled life? IDK
In the business world we are taught to be risk-takers, yet be calculating and have specific goals. There are glorious failures and then there are golden moments. Continually, there will be a vision, a belief in oneself and a pressing ambition.
Well, I have variations of those elements, reader.
- I hope for a functioning family for my daughters. I still hope for my own business or three. I can see these things potentially, but progress is painfully slow. I want to alter the course and move into that sweet spot.
- I waiver in my self-affirmation, but I do recognize my strengths and choose to believe the best. I also know that I am continually surrendering to the one I know is fully trustworthy, so that counts.
- As for ambition, I have to surrender that too. I find it hard to balance my intelligence, pride and equality with authoritative figures. I have learned its okay to respect, follow and obey leadership. I will never be a blind follower though. I want to know why, and how, and what motivations. Its either viewed as audacious or rebellious when I am usually harmless.
Those elements do not equal a copacetic life! The past six months have only brought chaos and pain to my family.
I suppose when we finally work through our grief, life will finally seem brighter. I will either be closer to my goals as an entrepreneur with a family that talks to one another positively or my angst will remain. Either way, I suppose I will have grown and changed through all of this.